The Maoh in Ouran Academy
by That'sSoSassssyyy
Summary: So, when Yuri and the gang try to meet with Jennifer, something happens, a little glitch in the system. Instead, they end up in at Ouran Academy, where they will soon meet the host club. And being as beautiful as they are, they just might join.
1. Chapter 1: That Swirly Thing

"Shibuya! When are we leaving?"

"As soon as I get everyone!" I call back.

I turn around doing a head count. "All right, when I call your name say 'here'. Murata?"

"Duh." Murata laughs.

I grin. "Conrad?"

"I'm here, Your Majesty." He answers smoothly.

"Yuri! Call me Yuri, Conrad! I am your godson, after all." I correct.

Conrad laughs softly. "Sorry, Yuri."

"It's alright. I'm used to it by now. Wolfram?"

Silence.

"Where is Wolfram, Murata?" I ask him. "We're going to be late."

Murata fixes his glasses. "Not really."

"I know, but still, you get the ide-."

"YURI! Where is he? Did he leave without me?" Wolfram bangs in. "Oh, there you are, you little wimp."

"Stop calling me that!" I whine. "Well, he's here. Yozak?"

"Yozak? He's coming?" Wolfram asks curiously.

"He wanted to meet my parents."

"Here!" Yozak calls out, from over in his dark corner, scaring me.

"Whoa! When did you get here? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Well, everybody's here. You ready, Murata?"

I turn around just in time to catch a smack in the face, which sends me plummeting into the water. The swirly thing starts happening again.

And here we go.


	2. Chapter 2: The Demon Hosts

I wake up wet. Not unusual. In a fountain at what looks like…a school? That_ is_ unusual.

"Shibuya! Are you okay?"

"Your Highness, your Eminence!"

Your Maj-. Yuri!"

"YURI! SPEAK TO ME!"

"Give it a rest, Wolfram. I'm fine." I moan. I'm not feeling too hot…

"You know, if you stay in that cold water, you'll only end up regretting it later." I hear an unfamiliar voice.

I sit up. Too quickly. I see stars. Oh, boy. I lean out of the fountain and violently hurl up half a lung. After I catch my breath, I lean back against something solid and warm.

"Yuri?"

Conrad.

"I'm fine. Just shaken up a bit." I mutter, mostly to calm Wolfram, who is freaking.

I hear the sound of vomiting and turn just in time to see Murata lean back against Yozak, wiping his mouth.

"Y-y-Yuri. You okay?"

My sickness passes immediately as Murata faints.

"Your Eminence!" Yozak says franticly.

"Hey. I can help."

I look at the person, kneeling next to the fountain. I scrutinize the person. Short brown bob. Shorter than me. Big, beautiful mahogany eyes. Like my Greta's. I can't decide whether or not it's a girl or boy, but from the deeper tones of the voice, let's just go with boy.

He takes off his jacket and wraps it around Murata. "Hey, is he alright?"

"COME TO DADDY, HARUHI!" screams a shrill voice.

The boy, Haruhi, apparently, jerks up and turns. "Damn. I gotta go. I'm so late. You can come along. Bring him. Maybe Kyoya can help him."

Yozak picks him up and follows her as she walks off. I feel myself being lifted in the air. Conrad.

"CONRAD! Put me down!"

"If I recall correctly, your Highness, you were sick as well." Conrad replies smoothly.

"I'm fine. Put me down." I complain.

"CONRART, PUT HIM DOWN!" Wolfram shrieks angrily. "Ugh, you are always messing with Yuri! He is my fiancée, not yours! Put him down now!" Wolfram turned on me. "And you!"

"Me? What the hell did I do? Don't you see me trying to get him to put me down?" I rush, trying to save my butt.

"Yet, you are still in someone else's arms! You're such a flirt! As your fiancée, I declare I am the one allowed to hold you. So, Lord Weller, in the name of Bielefeld, I demand you PUT MY YURI DOWN!"

Conrad chuckles softly, sets me on the ground and reaches for my hand instead. Wolfram slaps it away and grabs. "I've got it. Now, let's go before we lose the girl."

He wrenches me forwards and I yelp. "Girl? I thought it was a boy."

He slows a little. "Really? Lord Weller?"

"I think it was a girl."

"Captain!"

Yozak, holding Murata, and Haruhi, the undetermined gender, stand a double door, labeled 'Music Room 3'.

Haruhi looks at us. "Now, I know things will seem really weird in here, but don't freak out."

He/she grabs the handle and turns it, opening the door.

Smoke poured out and rose petals floated into my face.

"Welcome!" choruses a mixture of voices.

I widen my eyes.

There are six boys, four standing, and two sitting.

The one in the middle is beautifully blonde, with violet eyes that sparkle. One to his side is black haired, wearing glasses, and holding a clipboard. Good grief. Twins. They both had bright orange hair and golden angular eyes. There is a really tall one, with black hair and black eyes, holding on his shoulders, a tiny blonde boy. The tiny blonde was unbelievably adorable. He was clutching a fluffy stuffed, pink rabbit.

I am not gay, but even I have to admit, they are all very attractive. Not as attractive as Wolfram, some of them, but still…

The older blonde boy looks at Haruhi. "Where have you been, my darling daughter?"

I look at Wolfram. "He's a she."

The boys' attention snaps to us. The guy with glasses speaks.

"Yuri Shibuya? What are you doing here?"

Wolfram pushes me behind him, and reaches for his sword.

"Wolfram, stop it!" Wolfram hesitates.

"Now, how do you know who I am?" I ask, suspiciously.

"Mommy, you know him?" the tall blonde asks.

"He is the younger brother of Shori Shibuya, who associates with an anonymous billionare. So, yes. I know of him. "

"Mommy?"

The guy with the glasses turns to look at me. "Because I have just met you, I do not believe you are a liberty to call me that."

The blonde steps in front of me. "Welcome to the Host Club! Where it is our job to make every girl happy!"

I look at Conrad, who looks like he's trying hard not to laugh in this guy's face. Yozak is still carrying Murata and has an I-don't-believe-this-guy kind of look on his face. Wolfram, like me, looks dumbstruck.

The blonde continues on. "We have all the main types. The strong and silent type. That's Mori." He points at the tall raven-haired boy. "And our boy Lolita, Hunny." He says, moving his finger up to the smaller blonde. "The mischievous types, Hikaru and Kaoru." The twins. "The cool type, Kyoya." He gestures towards 'Mommy'. "The natural type." Now, he's pointing at Haruhi. "And me, the princely type. Tamaki."

"Kyoya-senpai, this boy threw up and passed out in the fountain. Can you call someone to help him?" Haruhi says.

Kyoya, the guy with the glasses, looks up from his clipboard. "I could, I suppose. But I see nothing in it for me."

My fury blazes hot. I step forward, with a snappy comment on my lips, but Conrad pushes me back.

"We would appreciate it very much if you would call a doctor for His Eminence."

"His Eminence?" Kyoya looks interested. "On second thought…" He takes out a cell phone and dials a number. "I expect to be repaid for this."

"Are you going to introduce yourselves?" Tamaki asks.

I step forward again, pushing Wolfram aside when he tries to block me. "Sure. Nice to meet you. I'm Yuri Shibuya. That's Yozak Gurrier, holding Ken Murata, one the passed out. Conrad, Conrart Weller. And this is-."

"Wolfram von Bielefeld. I'm Yuri's-."

"Wolfram, shut up!" I hiss, blushing furiously.

"Fiancée." Wolfram finishes proudly.

I grab Conrad's shirt and shake it vigorously. "Kill me, just kill me now!" I scream.

Conrad laughs.

The twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, grin widely. "Fiancée?"

"Yes, Yuri belongs to me. So, don't touch him." Wolfram states, embarrassing me further.

"How romantic!" Tamaki wails. He jumps five feet and hugs me tightly, damn near squeezing the life of me.

"W-w-w-Wolf-f-ram….. h-h-help…." I gasp desperately.

"I SAID NO TOUCHING!" Wolfram shrills, wrenching us apart. I fall back against him. "Yuri, are you alright?"

"Hey, Yu-chan! Do you want some of my cake?" Hunny exclaims, holding an enormous pastry on a silver platter.

I manage a smile, despite my gasping for oxygen. "Sure."

I hear a creaking sound and turn to see a figure shrouded in black. "Fresh meat?" a deep voice hisses.

"Eep!" Tamaki jumps behind Kyoya, who has finished his phone call. I copy him, hiding behind Wolfram, who reaches for his sword.

"Hello, Shibuya, Bielefeld, Weller, Gurrier, Murata." He hisses creepily, his hood hiding his face.

"Nekozawa." Kyoya says in a bored way. "Your sister was here a few moments ago looking for you."

The hooded figure looks up, showing his face. Whoa. Blue eyes. Bluer than I'd ever seen before.

"She was?!" Nekozawa darts back out of the room.

"Aww! Kyoya!" The twins moan disappointedly, holding a large flashlight. "We were gonna do it."

A tall grandfather clock gongs. "Six-o-clock." says Haruhi. "Senpai, should we be getting ready?"

Tamaki stands up tall. "Yes, I suppose we should. Today's theme- Spain!"

Murata sits up, groaning. "This is not Mama's house."

The next few minutes are a blur. While we fill in Murata on what's going on, Host members zoom around the room, decorating both the room and themselves. At six-fifteen, the entire room looks like Spain and the Hosts, Spaniards.

Tamaki and the twins pull Kyoya into a circle and they begin whispering. Haruhi turns to us with a terrified look on her face. "Run." She whispers.

Too late. Tamaki stands up and strolled right to us. He and the twins examine us from top to bottom. "Yes, I think they'll do." One of the twins says.

"They're certain pretty enough." Says the other.

"Pretty enough for what?" I ask.

"To become Hosts." Murata replies.

Kyoya looks at him, arching an eyebrow. "How did you know that?"

"HOSTS?!" I cry out. "Wooing girls? I can't do that!"

Wolfram slowly turns to me. "If you so much as look at another girl, I run you through. If Greta found out you were cheating on me, she cry for weeks."

"Greta? Who is Greta?" Hunny asks.

"Princess Greta? None other than His Majesty's very own daughter." Yozak says, holding back a snicker.

"She's mine too!" Wolfram adds.

The twin on the left bursts out in laughter. "You two had a daughter?"

"Adopted daughter!" I tack on.

"So, about the Host thing," Murata says, thankfully leaving the topic behind. "We accept."


	3. Chapter 3: The New Types

Kyoya circles us like vultures, muttering to himself, nearly inaudibly.

"….once Hikaru and Kaoru get ahold of you…. yes, you'll be good enough…. certainly you… no, that won't do…. tsk, tsk…. tacky, tacky, and tacky…. Tamaki could fix this…."

He stands up straighter. "They'll do. But those clothes…"

Tamaki snaps his fingers. "Hikaru! Kaoru!"

The twins salute him. "On it!" One twin grabs Wolfram's left arm, the other seizes his right. They drag him kicking and screaming behind a curtain.

"Unhand me!" Wolfram screeches. "I demand you set me free! Let me go!"

Grunts of effort. "Hold still, Wolf, and this will be easier!" Kaoru says.

"Stop twitching!" Hikaru adds helpfully.

"Let go! CONRART! YURI! HELP ME!"

There is silence. Then, Kaoru, I think, comes out from behind the curtain. His hair is mussed, his shirt ripped. "We present to you..."

"Wolfram the Hot!" Hikaru finishes, and moves the curtain completely. My jaw drops.

Wolfram stands there, with a pissed expression, dressed like a Spaniard. He is wearing bright red shorts, his graceful legs are exposed. His goldenrod hair is wind-blown. His button-down yellow shirt has a red abstract pattern and is spread open, displaying his chest. The red on his cheeks complete the image.

Tamaki gasps and pounces on him, smothering him with hugs. "Soooo cuuuute!"

"I look ridiculous!" Wolfram wails, shoving Tamaki away, furiously.

"You look great, Wolfram." I say, trying to make him feel better.

"I do?" Wolfram tries to hide a small blush.

Everyone nods in approval.

"I suppose I could tolerate_ one_ day in this puerile getup."

Hikaru and Kaoru turn on me. "And you!"

Damn.

t(T-Tt)

After Conrad, Murata, Yozak, and I are all submitted to torture, force-fed cake, and suffocated with hugs, Hikaru brings up the fact that we need types.

The room thunders and a rotating plate raises in the middle of the room, a girl standing on it.

"And I know the exact types, too!" She cackles.

She points Murata. "The gentle know-it-all." His face is neutral. Typical Murata.

Yozak. "The fun-loving one." Yozak's nose wrinkles in disgust.

Conrad. "The extremely friendly one." Conrad smiles. Of course, he smiles.

Wolfram. "The arrogant possessive one."

Me. "The sweet shy one."

The thunder resumes and the plate lowers, the girl disappearing with it.

I pick my jaw up off the ground and turn to Kyoya! "What the-?"

He raises a hand to stop me. "Don't even. Ignore her. But, now, you have your types."

"Possessive?!" Wolfram exclaims angrily. "I am not possessive!"

"Another type for you could be the one in denial." Yozak says, speaking for the first time.

"I noticed something." Kaoru starts

"You didn't object to the 'arrogant' part." Hikaru finishes.

I laugh with Conrad and Yozak. Murata grins. Wolfram fumes.

"When the doors open, say 'Welcome back, my ladies.'"

The clock bongs.

"Places!" Tamaki yells.

The doors open.

"Welcome back, my ladies!"

The second the doors open, girls swarm around Kyoya, shooting questions.

"Oh my gosh! Who are they?" asks a blond girl.

"New Hosts." He answers smoothly.

"Their types?" she pushes.

"ATTENTION!" Tamaki calls. The room silences. "Allow me introduce you to our new Hosts!"

Tamaki has us line up. Then he pulls Yozak out of line. "This is Yozak, the fun-loving type." The girls sigh.

He pushes Yozak back, and reaches for Conrad. "Conrad? Conrart?" He looks at Conrad for affirmation.

"My name is Conrart, but people usually struggle with that, so, I go by Conrad. Thanks for asking."

"Conrad and he's our extremely friendly type." Tamaki finishes.

Girls sigh again, some blushing.

"This Yuri, our sweet shy guy." I wave, lowering my eyelids.

A few girls wave back, giggling softly.

Wolfram subtly squashes my foot. I squeeze my lips together to keep from screaming in pain.

"And this is Wolfram, our arrogant possessive one." Wolfram casually flips his hair.

Girl scream, giggle, and fan themselves. I even think one in the back fainted.

Kyoya smiles and writes in his book. Probably thinking how big a hit Wolf is, just based on his looks.

If they think Wolfram looks good, they couldn't handle The Great Wise Man, much less, The Great One.

Damn.

You know, sometimes, I wish I look like Wolfram.


End file.
